Dunn's River Falls, Green Grotto Caves, and Falmouth, Jamaica!

Ramble-Ramble...
So while watching Lonely Planet on the Travel Channel every afternoon back in middle school, I remembered how cool this one part on Jamaica was... where Ian Wright visited a waterfall and you could climb up the middle of it... Flash-forward some +10 years.... And here I was... about to get the chance to climb Dunn's River Falls myself. Almost like it was a life-goal or something, something I had seen on TV and always dreamed of getting to do myself, never really thinking I would. The main reason I wanted to book the Royal Caribbean's 7 Night Western Caribbean Cruise was for the Haiti stop (and its coaster like ride) but after looking over the excursions list for Jamaica, I realized what Dunn's River Falls was, the waterfall I had seen on TV so many years ago... My level of excitement pretty much skyrocketed and I convinced Deka we should book it for our Jamaica day adventure. She was down for it although it turned out she really didn't have any sort of idea what she/we were about to get into! Long story short(ish).... I say.... Hey look, we can do this waterfall climb in Jamaica where you get to climb up the waterfall itself!!! Deka says OK, lets do that.... (Day of) I look at her with long pants on and not really looking like she was about to get wet I asked... You're gonna climb in that? (while looking at the rest of the group all in swimsuits and such...) Turns out, she had absolutely no idea that when I said "lets go climb a waterfall" it meant.... getting into a river and physically climbing up into the falling water.
Ok, so here we go...  Falmouth, Jamaica, our second port and fourth day on Royal Caribbean's Freedom of the Seas.

After getting up and overeating (again) at FABuffet we were off the boat in on our way to our Bus/Van...thing. Our tour would be taking us to both Dunn's River Falls and as a bonus, a stop at the Green Grotto Caves before bringing us back to the Disneyfied terminal in Falmouth, cruise goers only, no locals, minimal interactions with the locals. But unlike Labadee, you are free to come and go and leave the safety zone.(also, via our bus we were able to see a lot of the country on our hour drive, poverty included... almost humbling) But even with the shopping mall area deigned just for tourists visiting via ships we still heard people saying they wouldn't be getting off the boat here and that it wasn't safe, we also overheard a mom telling her kids they would be making a quick trip past the shops and then its right back on the boat. (we ended up seeing and hearing the same sort of things in Mexico as well, sadly)

Hey look, Jamaica!

Port Falmouth, with its cruise goer mall area.
pretty much the same crap you'd find in any other... even American, beach town... But with a nicer presentation. 

It pretty much feels like being at CityWalk or Downtown Disney and I hated it.

I mean, it looks nice... but its not what I'm looking for and much like yesterday.. I didn't buy a single thing here.

Although... passing the crafts area... I was tempted...

The infamous "wood duck"
(there's an amusing story behind it)
((mostly due to poor communication))

Stepping off the boat you're greeted with this lovely sign and TSA-like-agents reminding you that ganja, while synonymous with Jamaica, is in fact illegal

Stepping into any giving gift shop tho, would still lead you to believe otherwise.
Bongs and pipes of all shapes and sizes were available... most coming in the Rastafarian colors.
Ugh, gross.

 Also pretty gross is the second you step off the ship you pass a Dairy Queen, Quiznos, and Nathan's famous.
(HOW EXOTIC)
((and while I do love me some DQ.... its not really what I wanna see as my first food option in a foreign country))
I was about to have an aneurysm and wanted out but Deka needed to get a bracelet first, she's been getting one for every new place shes gone.

 And she got me one.
It was some sort of 3 for $5 sale or something and she only needed one.

Thankfully, we made it to our mini-bus to take us to see the real Jamaica.

And in an emergency, dial 119.
(and don't forget to drive on the wrong side of the road)

After an hour drive or so along the northern coast line of Jamaica we made it to Dunn's River Falls near Ocho Rios (also home to an Alpine Coaster that we could have visited as well.. but having done the one in Haiti we opted for the cave tour) The drive was pretty neat, passing areas with burned-out cars on the side of the street... goats tied to random trees along the road.. and also luxury resorts and hotels?

Pretty flowering tree... thing

Oh, also... Dunn's River Falls
and lots of people climbing it.... I think it was truly at this point where Deka realized what she had gotten herself into!

The climb itself starts in the Caribbean Sea and its suggested to hold hands in a giant chain... Yeah, I didn't take part...In fact, I climbed on my own, one handed.
(holding my non-waterproof camera in my hand with the help of a plastic bag!)

Well, here we go.

The climb isn't really to challenging and with different pools along the way, you don't make the 600 foot climb all at once.

Over the climb you traverse 600 feet up the falls with an elevation change of around 180 feet, starting at sea level (or I guess... slightly less than sea level.... as you start in the sea!)

It was... visually stunning but due to the large number of climbers you can't get a photo without half a dozen pasty looking people in it (and I guess that includes me)

Pretty pretty

It really was everything I wanted. Exciting but also relaxing? Beautiful, adventurous. something real (I don't know.. living/breathing/alive) waayyy better than the terminal shopping area! 

Pretty pretty, still.

Oh yeah, we sure did!
And I would LOVE to do it again. I really don't think I could have found any other experience in Jamaica that could top this.

 And did I mention I did it with a broken sandal?!
These were....brand new...bought specifically FOR THIS and the right side cane unglued pretty much the second I got in the ocean. (after the climb I ended up tearing off the whole bottom and walking around funny until I got back to the boat with my Flip-Flops and trashed these awful sandals)
Oh, and sandals with a backing or water-shoes are required for the climb

Sadly, on the way out to the car park from the falls, you have to pass this awful shopping area. I hated it. I mean, I get why they do it... but there was no bypass no way to avoid it and all the shopkeepers wants your money and I would assume only make money off of the tourists as locals wouldn't stop. But some of them were just super aggressive and I was extremely annoyed and just wanted to get back in the damn bus. (much like the shop area in Haiti.. although that could be avoided)
After the falls it was back to Falmouth but with a stop at Green Grotto Caves on ways.
It was on this bus ride where we heard Fatass Buffet referred to as...... Fatass Buffet <3

I didn't really know much about the place, other than it was a cave you got to go in.
When booking the excursion to Dunn's there were three or four options. One that was just the falls, a second that did the falls and then Mystic Mountain (home to the Alpine Coaster), some other third variant (I think with a fancy lunch).... and the one that included Green Grotto.

Safety first!

Hair net? check... Helmet? check.....
Lets go!

Woo, caves!

Green Grotto turned out to be pretty cool

Random self-fact
This was the second cave tour Deka and I have done together, having done Marvel Cave - National Natural Landmark in Brnason, MO back in 2005!

But um, this was our first Jamaican cave? Caribbean cave?

The caves are home to 9 of Jamaica's 21 species of bat....
we saw these ones!!
(and some of the people on the tour weren't to happy about it)

But I myself wasn't that happy coming upon Mr.Snake.
(the Jamaican Boa)

Down this long dark part of the cave dead ends at....

This creepy underground lake. I guess back in the day they used to have boat tours down in here and in the 90's a small girl fell out and drown. (Google image search does show photos of the boats, at least) At one point the guide turned all the lights off, leaving us in complete darkness.

Ah, sunlight....

oooh, and pretty flowers too!

I don't know what these are... We saw them growing all over Jamaica and Grand Cayman and it wasn't the famed Breadfruit or Ackee (but we did see those).

After leaving Green Grotto the bus took us back to the port and market place. Deka and I split off as I wanting nothing to do with the mall area and she was on a mission to try real Jamaican food. She ended up getting some Jerk Chicken but it wasn't authentic and she seemed kind of upset by that.

And as the sun set on Falmouth, the Freedom of the Seas departed Jamaica and headed off to our next port, George Town, Grand Cayman! (Time for us to go overeat at FABuffet)

(oh, oh, and Jamaica was country #16 for me!)

Good times in Labadee, Haiti.

Well, I guess I never guessed I'd be vacationing in Haiti at any point in my life.. yet here I was...

But to say I was truly in Haiti is kind of a lie. Labadee is the Disneyfied version of Haiti that Royal Caribbean International wants you to see, clean... cruise goers only.. safe. While absolutely beautiful and a trip highlight for sure, I was kinda left feeling cheated. Yeah, I guess now I can say I have been to Haiti but it didn't really feel it? In fact... Doing research on the private beach location I came to find out Royal Caribbean used to almost go out of their way to make sure people didn't know they were in Haiti at all. Calling Labadee their "Private Island" (while in fact just a beach....) and later on saying it was part of the island of Hispaniola (and while true, its also misleading)  nowadays there is no shame or hiding of the fact you are in fact in Haiti and I myself don't see why there ever was. The fact I was gonna get to go to Haiti made me book this cruise over some of the other options I could have gone with. But seeing how most people have a preconceived notion of what Haiti must be like maybe it was a turn-off for some. Rambling aside...  Labadee was fantastic even if you aren't allowed off Royal Caribbean's property (IE: No going into real Haiti, despite Deka's effort) 

Woo

So, if you read my Freedom of the Seas update you'll know that Haiti was the first of four stops along my seven day cruise. Labadee was the first port but our third day.

After getting up way to early and overeating at FABuffet we were greeted by the island of Hispaniola and the country of Haiti, Labadee our destination.

Ah, Country Credit #15 Haiti! And Labadee, Royal Caribbean's private beach resort/complex.

Welcome, indeed.

Stepping off the boat for the first time in some 40 hours Deka and I made sure we were *first* off!

And in case you forgot what the boat look liked

(or, uh, me?)

Like I mentioned earlier, Royal Caribbean used to avoid mentioning you were in Haiti. Overtime things have changed (a good thing) and they've seemed to embrace it.

What you can see of the country, along with the private beach area is absolutely stunning and far more picturesque than any other port visited.

Deka and I had tickets for the first zip-line adventure of the day. Along with the Alpine Coaster, Royal Caribbean's over-ocean zip-line was a big factor in my trip planning and wasn't to be missed. Tickets are not required in advanced but seeing is how this stop was the only one where you didn't have exterior options, we played it safe and booked ours early.

Before getting to the amazing Dragon's Breath Flight Line zip, you start with the trial run.

Meet the Little Dragon! yaayyy

After a safety lesson and the quick ride on the little dragon we were off on a crazy-ass bus ride up a Haitian mountain. I'm glad the 'bus' had seat-belts.....  and uh, handle bars.

Ahhh..... wonderful.

Looking out over Labadee, 500 feet or so over the beach and with 2,600 feet of cable in front of me... I was so ready for this.

Deka seemed a little unsure... 

but once she got going she loved it

(I did too!)

The ride down is amazing and 100% worth the price, I was tempted to go for a second.

(haha, and at one point we watched someone drop their flip flop about halfway down the zip)

Once we were finished with the zip we made our way over to the other big reason I wanted to take this trip.....

Ah, the Dragon's Tail Coaster.

Once your car makes the 600+ foot climb up the side of the mountain its all down hill from there

And while governed, like the other Wiegand Alpine Coasters...

this one was the best of the three I've done.

The dips on Dragon's Tail were much more severe and some of the turns seemed to toss you more so than the ones at Jiminy Peak and Wisp Resort.

The "beach overlook" helix was my favorite part. Flying out of the jungle and seeing the whole beach below was amazing.... each and every time.

I had gotten myself the all-day pass and took ten rides over the day, Deka only got a single ride ticket as she had planned to try and visit the real parts of Haiti

nerd-shot

((video below))

Once realizing that wasn't gonna happen.. we made our way over to one of the many beaches within the complex (we tried two of the, I believe, five) 

Adrenaline Beach was our first stop as its pretty much at the coasters exit... It was nice but had a rocky/shelly base.

Neat little beach-bed cabana... things we saw in passing.

At the far edge of Adrenaline Beach and the complex's property line was this neat tidal pool

On the other end of the complex was Columbus Cove.

Columbus Cove was our favorite beach area.

smooth sand with palm trees right up to the waters edge 

(And a deep deep end..... I couldn't even make it to the bottom)

But I HATED the market area you had to pass by. 

This photo is of the nicer area.. but there's a HUGE area along what would have been a nice walking trail and all the sellers do is scream at you to come over and buy stuff.

Although I was tempted.....

I left without buying anything.

Ah, thats more like it..

Nice tree-lined paths

 Although even that was tainted by these awful coconuts.

While exploring more of the complex we found the waterslide.

Dragon's Tail, its the newest feature of the resort area.

It's also an upcharge and since we had done the zip and coaster, we passed on it.

(But it did look fun)

 You're Doing It Wrong!

I really liked these rock formations, kinda bummed me out they put the slide over part of them.

Just past the slide is Nellie's Beach and these super cool looking beach huts with private water access.

(Just $250 for the day!)

Nature.

Ooh, and flowers too!

Small little spray-ground area in the middle of the beach.

There's also these neat ruins of an old church

And in a fenced off area close to the dock is an area labeled Dragon's Lookout Point.

Shame this area is off-limits now.

 This doggy was doing a good job making sure people didn't try and sneak out there.

And for those who ate too much at FABuffet......

You can ride around the complex on these little trams, there's three stops in all.

(and yes, one lets off right next to the on-land buffet)

After 8 hours or so, our time in Labadee was running out. Near the end, Deka and I split off so she could run the gauntlet of the market place once more and pick up a few things. I myself took a stroll in a small memorial garden I found before making my way back onto the boat.

Making my way back to the boat I passed what I assume was people doing some sort of traditional singing and dancing.

Back on the ship.... losers were still taking part in the Cupid Shuffle. Just awful

UGH

And, well, that's about it....

The sun sets over Haiti and Hispaniola as we make our way to Jamaica.

yaayyy

Videos!

Dragon's Tail Coaster on-ride video!
...and...

Little Dragon / Dragon's Breath Flight Line on-ride video

So yeah.... Next update will be Falmouth, Jamaica!