A quick visit to see Uncle Bernie...

There is a place in South Florida where you can buy used Playboy Magazines from the 80's, fake hair, and also.. Uh... Ferrari's ....With over 2,000 vendors setup across the massive complex, this place also manages to pull an amazing 12 million visitors a year!
Oh yeah, and did I mention it has two roller coasters?!

brace-yourself for the amazingness that is......
The Florida Swap Shop and Circus of Fort Lauderdale / Uncle Bernie's Theme Park, the largest daily flea market in the world.

Welcome.
And.... here we go!
Open since 1966, it predates both Disney and SeaWorld and is one of those... one of a kind type of places.

Anyone wants some.. uh.. I don't know.. Stuff?

This... clown.

Catch me headlining at EDC next year Y'ALL!

Also, I guess this... is a thing.

Shoes? Shirts? Maybe a nice dress or seven?

Anyone need... uh.. most of a used toilet?

Rows and rows.. of just... Stuff.

Oh man! Would you look at that!!!
(a bronze duck statue!)

So... Uh, when I think "Florida Souvenirs" I think LED Speakers?

Even with my Duck hat and Thug Cactus shirt on..
I was still likely the most classy person here.
uhh

Oh yeah, and I wasn't kidding about the Ferrari part!

Inside one of the buildings is a little "Car Museum"
Uh, I didn't get it.

Hair anyone? Uh, anyone??
(but to be fair.... The unnamed guest I was visiting with... May have actually got some for herself haha!)

Although this color changing Duck.. light.... thing almost found its way home with me.

Oh, and would you like.. I mean, do you need piles and piles of food at the farmers market?
Maybe?

Or could I interest you in like.. a bong?
(No thanks)

Swap Shop also claims to be the largest drive-in movie theater in the world. They have 14 screens here!
But the main reason people in the Amusement Fandom visit here is for Uncle Bernie's

A small amusement midway area within the complex

Featuring not one, but two kiddie coasters.
This being the Abandon Mine.

And the other coaster, Dragon.
I've actually (shamefully?) ridden them both.. on more than one visit. Although today neither of us rode anything here but they were still open.
(Haha, in fact... I had visited here before having even moved to Florida!)

Test Track eh? I'm sure its just as good as the one at Epcot.

The Eli Ferris Wheel... This wasn't here my first trip.. but it was the second.
It doesn't actually load passengers but is used as an art-installation of sorts...
Water is pumped from a hose on a pole.. into buckets attached to the side of the wheel frame and as they fill, makes the wheel slowly turn.
I.... don't get it.

Zamperla Samba Balloon

Odd... Duck + Dragon.... Castle.. ride?

The log flume here, while tiny AF... is an absolute soaker.. I rode it back in 2008 and couldn't believe how a drop of maybe 15 feet could make it seem like I had jumped in a pool. Also, the water quality was... Uh, questionable.
Bashing aside... There is a real reason to visit here....

A semi rare Sartori Techno Jump.
One of the most unsuspectingly fun flat rides around. Back in 2003 Deka and I rode the crap out of the one demo'd at IAAPA and since they were showing off what the ride could do... they were running it at its most extreme. The Techno Jump at Uncle Bernie's is the only one that even comes close to running as intense as that... And its pretty shocking as the rest of the rides here are really geared to smaller kids... And then there is this beast tucked away in the back. <3

(here's a video of it in action from Sartori Rides' YouTube page)

Worth watching the whole thing to see how the ride motions can change... And see it running both forward and backwards <3

But yeah.

Florida Swap Shop and Circus of Fort Lauderdale / Uncle Bernie's Theme Park
Its.. uh.. Its a thing.

You should probably just go visit it.